I can only be hurt to the depth that I love. It is not the rock throwing crowds that wound my heart for they stand outside of the palace that is protected by walls, motes and draw bridges. It’s only those that I open the castle gates to that have access to the unguarded recesses of my heart. Yes, it those rare souls that I have intimacy (in-to- me- you-see) with that wound my heart. And so faithful are the wounds of a friend! Often, after suffering a near moral blow in the depths of my soul, I order the castle gates sealed, raise the draw bridge and wither away in the loveless palace of loneliness. I have successful fortified my heart from pain and simultaneously cut off the supply line of love. Now it is impossible to die from wounds, for I chose rather to starve to death in the torture chamber of isolation. It is in the cold walls of the castle that I long for the very thing I am terrified of.
Yet there is no love without risk, and risk always requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability invites pain. Ask Jesus, He will tell you about the high cost of love and the joy that lies on the other side of crucifixion!
— Kris Vallotton
God said: “Let me review this for you.
I said when we became partners I’m the senior partner.
Therefore sometimes I’ll make decisions and I won’t even bother to consult you.
Sometimes there’s no pre-flight briefings before takeoff - it’s just a matter of faith. Not faith as you understand it, not faith as it makes sense, not faith you can figure it out but Faith to trust my Heart when you can’t trace my Hand!
Besides that, I don’t submit my decisions to the limited scrutiny of mankind. When you’re ready to obey then we’ll talk.”
Oh all right God…you know it’s interesting once you start walking down the highway of obedience you start hearing God.” —
God speaks to Hosea - a Right-brained telling of the story
by Dr Ted Roberts (May 27, 2012 Passage: Hosea 1:1-2)
This is a quotation I’ve posted up before but I decided to add what came after because, frankly, I find God is really speaking to me right now through it. I guess it’s specifically that bit about obedience. I pray that as I continue walking down the highway of obedience then He’ll speak because right now I could do with not feeling like I’ve taken a leap of faith and am waiting to hit the ground.
But I know He’s waiting to catch me, I know He’s got my back. And I don’t know what that catch will look like but it’ll be good.
Wise and beautiful words from my incredible friend Rachel.
Check out her blog at http://gracefulwonders.wordpress.com
just set your sail
and risk the ocean, there’s only grace” —Sometimes - David Crowder*Band
I was so amused when I fired off this little status update to find, minutes later, a few friends of mine had made some hilarious suggestions. Or by ‘some’ I mean 89.
Just a few of my favourites:
“Stare at a rock for inspiration”
“Run up to a stranger and declare how long it’s been since you’ve seen them and ask about their children.”
“stand in the middle of a crowded area and stare at something and start making endless derp faces”
“try killing two pigeons with 1 stone then when u do u can eat them”
“try kill two stones with one bird!”
“pretend to be a plastic bag n sing fireworks”
“Read all of these suggestions”
“Start an acapella group.”
“BE an acapella group”
“eenact the scene in the dark knight where he jumps off of IFC”
“Go into a coffee shop and find someone sitting alone. Go up to them and say ‘Sorry, I’m late’ and carry on a conversation.”
“Fall in love and start a relationship that leads to marriage”
“Find a rooftop and do Lectio Divin”
“Keep calm & carry on”
I probably didn’t get many of these done (what with the fact that I’d probably have gotten arrested or beaten up by old people for some of them) but that day was a pretty epic day.
It simply began with me having a sushi-binge lunch with my dad and then me having to find something to do until an 8:30 dinner (which was an epic evening since I also caught the post-midnight screening of Dark Knight Rises in IMAX…).
Those 6 hours were incredibly interesting because I always somehow ended up with something to be doing or someone who was free for an hour or so to hang out with. In the in between I got to walk around my beautiful city, listening to worship music and often having a wee chat with the Heavenly Papa. In that time, pretty much due to an inexplicable collision of various events, I managed to get in some decent quality time with about 8 different people.
Leaving space like that and seeing what God wanted to do with my day - which lives He wanted me to intersect and what ways He wanted to speak into my own life - had unexpected results. I felt like yesterday, despite the lack of any planning, was a day that was certainly not wasted. And a lot of fun.
It reminds me of this quote that my amazing mentor, brother and friend, Richie, posted a while ago about creating space to hear God speak:
If I were a physician and someone asked me ‘What do you think should be done?’ I would answer, ‘The first thing, the unconditional condition for anything to be done, consequently the very first thing that must be done is: create silence, bring about silence; God’s Word cannot be heard, and if in order to be heard in the hullabaloo it must be shouted deafeningly with noisy instruments, then it is not God’s Word; create silence! Ah, everything is so noisy; and just as strong drink is said to stir the blood, so everything in our day, even the most insignificant project, even the most empty communication, is designed merely to jolt the senses or to stir up the masses, the crowd, the public, noise! And man, this clever fellow, seems to have become sleepless in order to invent ever new instruments to increase noise, to spread noise and insignificance with the greatest possible haste and on the greatest possible scale. Yes, everything is soon turned upside down: communication is indeed soon brought to its lowest point with regard to meaning, and simultaneously the means of communication are indeed brought to their highest with regard to speedy and overall circulation; for what is publicized with such hot haste and, on the other hand, what has greater circulation than—rubbish! Oh, create silence!
Søren Kierkegaard, For Self-Examination/Judge For Yourself (1848).(http://richwu.tumblr.com/post/26873202315/if-i-were-a-physician-and-someone-asked-me-what)
I guess my main thing to take away from this is a lesson in creating space. Give God space and no resistance, and He will fill it with an adventure experienced alongside Him that is better than what you could have imagined without.
Here are as many songs as I can remember playing in the worship corner at the Gateway 2012 Prayer Center (as well as a few of my favourites I remember hearing from others)
All I Want: Natasha Koppy
All My Devotion: Kristene Mueller
All About You: Clement Chen
Arms Of Grace: Beth Croft
Beautiful Things: Gungor
Claimed: Clement Chen
Closer: Steffany Frizzell
Come Away: Brock Human & United Pursuit Band / Jesus Culture
Crags and Clay: Gungor
Dance: Clement Chen
Daddy: Clement Chen
Divine Love: Jon Thurlow
Heartbeat: Clement Chen
I Am Yours: Misty Edwards
I Can Only Imagine: MercyMe
I Could Run Away: Waterdeep
I Love Your Presence: Bethel Live
Jesus, You’re Beautiful: Jon Thurlow
More Than Ashes: Tim Reimherr
One Thing Remains: Bethel Live
Set A Fire: Will Reagan & United Pursuit Band
Shekinah Glory (We Wait For You): Cory Asbury
Strong Love: Jon Thurlow
You’re Beautiful: Phil Wickham
That’s about as much as I can remember from my own slots, I want to add another 4 songs though. They were ones that I heard being led by some of the other incredibly gifted worship leaders we had in the Center.
I am quite addicted to these songs now.
Heart After You: Luke Wood
He Is Yahweh: Cory Asbury
I’m In Love: Merchant Band
Sometimes: David Crowder*Band
Well, I’m back from 3 weeks in Rwanda. We spent 2 weeks there with most of our team, then a few of us (quite a few this time) stayed an extra week. I guess a quick reflection before I go to bed.
I say quick because the full thing will be a long time coming, As always I’m still processing the sheer amount of stuff that’s happened in these short 3 weeks. It wasn’t even that short - I feel as if, though I’ve only totalled about 47 days in Rwanda, I’ve lived there for months if not years! This third week was hard, I really missed the team after they left and found it hard to find my, or God’s, purpose for me being in Rwanda a third week.
But I realised by the end that that third week really is the uniqueness of this mission trip, over any other I’ve been on, coming to it’s full fruition. We spent that week really going deep in our relationships with the people we were close with in Rwanda, spending quality time and allowing ourselves to be open in order to minister to andbeministered to by our loved ones there. That third week was all about vulnerability, intimacy and relationship. That third week was really the raw expression of what makes this trip more than a service trip, more than a missionary experience and more than ‘cultural voyeurism’ (as the odd social anthropologist likes to throw at me).
This third week was one week dedicated to what we spend the entire time experiencing.
Hearts touching hearts, souls touching souls. Joys and pains shared, and healing and family found.
So that’s a short wee bit on what little of the roaring torrent of thoughts I was able to coherently put on the page. More later. Possibly much later.
Peace and love,